The eldest soothsayer said softly. "for that which I tell you today will usher in a period of great hardship and transition,
BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE
Today for the Low Low price of 2 (2) dollars ($) you (you) can order not one (1), not two (two), not three (3!!!), but
ultra-super-deluxe all-expense-paid satisfaction-guaranteed lifetime-warranty free-of-charge or-your-money-back "potato chips", you heard right, that's 3 (three) ultra-super-deluxe all-expense-satisfied lifetime-guaranteed warranty-free or-your-charge-back "potato chips" for (four) the price of 1 (1)! Call 555-555-555-555-555-555-555-555-555-555 and send shipping and postage and handling to 12345 BigBux Boulevard, Moneysville, USA, 54321, supplies are limited, so call today or forever hold your peace
"But I'm still not done,
intoned the sagely old soothsayer from a shadowy alcove, "Just wait until you hear about this exclusive new offer,"
I haven't even begun to explain, listen, listen carefully, now, another of the soothsayers interrupted. Starting this Labor Day Weekend, enter our limited time sweepstakes at any participating monastery, no purchase necessary, odds of winning one (I) in 555,555,555,555,555,555,555,555,555,555 (five-hundred-fifty-five octillion, five-hundred-fifty-five septillion, five-hundred-fifty-five sextillion, five-hundred-fifty-five quintillion, five-hundred-fifty-five quadrillion, five-hundred-fifty-five trillion, five-hundred-fifty-five billion, five-hundred-fifty-five million, five-hundred-fifty-five thousand, five-hundred-fifty-five), And the prizes are nothing short of fantastic,