Today there was an Unacceptable event. It was unexpected, as well. I was standing in the Q's at the Library when suddenly: Noise erupts from the P's.
I rushed down the Q's and past the R's and took a right, and then I rushed past a lot of the S's on my way back around the The P's. It was a whooping crane. The whooping crane is an astonishing mammal, capable of the loudest "whoops" as yet understood by science; nonetheless, their presence is strictly disallowed in the Library, a place of solemnity and taciturn grace of the World.
"Please refrain from whooping here," I told the crane.
"I shall do no such thing" the crane retorted, and then whooped even louder directly to my face. "You are not the librarian, and if the librarian says it's okay then I will continue to whoop."
I had not a choice but to consult the librarian stationed at the front desk. The desk of course, was on the third floor: this was merely the eleventh floor, as such: An elevator ride had been necessitated.
i have not seen what they were discussion first-hand: if you will indulge a poor old man in his idle thoughts, please, for the love of humanity.
BEFORE THE FIRST CROWING OF THE HOUSETOP LANDFOWL UPONTHE MORNINGTIDE BESEECHMENT, WHEREUPON THE GROWTH OF FACILITATED CONTROL PLANTING, ACROSS THE DARK FIELD WALKING SWEAT FROM THE FURROWS THE LONE PROTAGONIST. SHE IS ALLERGIC TO CAULIFLOWERS.
LISTENING CAREFULLY: "WATCH WHAT I CAN DO WITH MY GARDENING IMPLEMENTS AND SEVERAL LARGE PIECES OF BEESWAX" AND THERE IN THE POURING RAIN IS A SUDDEN FLURRY OF WORKMANSHIP. THERE IS A HUMANOID FORM WHICH DID NOT EXIST BEFORE. IT IS A BLOB OF BEESWAX WITH A HOE FOR AN ARM AND HAMMERS FOR FEET. ITS OTHER ARM IS JUST A STICK OF WAX IN ARM SHAPE WITH THREE PREHENSILE FINGER-PROTRUSIONS. AFTER BRIEF CONSULTATION WITH ALMIGHTY GOD ABOVE, SHE SUMMONS A BOLT OF LIGHTNING WHICH STRIKES THE HOE-ARM AND GRANTS LIFE TO THE HORRID CREATURE.
IT IS YOUR FIRST MORNING OF EXISTENCE IN THE UNIVERSE,