. . . . . . . . . . . . * . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . * . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . * . . .. . * . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . . . . .. . .. * . .. . . * . . *. * . . ....* * . * . . . . ** . * . . *. * . .. * * . * * . . * . * . .. * . . ** .* .. .* * * . * . . . * . . . * . * . * . * . . ** . . * . . * . * . * . *. . * .* . . * * . . . * . . * . .* *. . . . *. . . . . . * * . * * . . .. . * * * . . .* . * . * .* . * . * * . . . * * . . * . . . . * * * . * . . * . . * . * . . *. * . * * . . . * . . . . * * . * . * . . * .. * * . * . . . * * . . . . * . * . * . * * . . . * * . . . * * . .* . . . * . * . . * . . * . . .* * .. * * * . *| . . . * . * . * * || | . . .* | || . . * . | || * .. * . * | || | *. * . * . . | || |. ** . * | || | . * . * | || | . * * | || | . . . | || | *. * * | || | . | || | . * | || | * * | || | * | || | . * * | || | * . | || | * . | || | * | || | * | || | . | || | * | || | | || | . * | || | * | || | . | || | | || | * | || | *** | || | * | || | | || | * | || | . * | || | . *** | || | * | || | | || | . * | || |/l\ *** | || | l \ * | || | l \ | || | l \ | || | l \ \ 00 | || | l \ OO \ 0**0 | || | l \ O**O / \ 00 | || | l \ OO / \ /| || |#l \ / \ \ / | || | l \ / \ \ / | || |#l \ / / \ \ / #| || | l \/ / \ \ / | || |#l / / \ \ \ / # | || | l / / \ \ \ / | || |#l / / / \ \ \ / # | || | l / / / \ \ \/ # | || |#l / / /\ \ \ \ # #| || |#l / / / \ \ \ \ # # | || | l / / / ## \ \ \ # #| || |#l / / / # # \ \ \ # # | || |#l / / / # ## /\ \ \ \ # #| || |#l / / / / # # # # # / \ \ \ \ ##| || |#l / / / / # ## ## # # #/ ## \ \ \ \ \ #| || |#l/ / / / /# # # # # \###/######\ \ \ \ \ | |||| |#/ / / / /########## #\#/########\\\\\\\\\||||||||/////////########### ## ########=- ad perpetuam memoriam -=########### ## #########/////////||||||||\\\\\\\\\########### #/#\#######/ / / / / | | | | \ \ \ \ \########## /###\###**********************************####### ##****' '****## ****' \/\/ [- |_ ( () |\/| [- ~|~ () '**** *' '* ___ __ ___ __ |__ |\/| |__) | \ / |__| /\ | | /__` |___ | | | | | | | /~~\ |___ |___ .__/ . /\/ /-\ /-\ /-\ I /T\ I /-\ /-\ . **. @ |I| >- I I | I I I >- \-\ .** ****. /\/ \-/ \-/ \-/ I I I \-/ \-/ .**** ##****. .****## ########*********************************######## ################################################# ################################################# # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # © 2016-1996 ------------------------------------------------- Useful Information ------------------------------------------------- 1. Epilepsy Warning ..---.. \ / \ / Several pages on - | | - this site contain / : ; \ flashing images. \ \~/ / `, Y ,' I was stressing out about |_|_| not having this warning |===| for a really long time, |===| it's the main reason this \_/ page even exists, actually .. ''. :. 2. Browser Compatibility .''. ' ''''''''++ ' The site looks best in .'''''''''''@. ' the newest versions of .''':+'''''''''. Mozilla Firefox and .'''.,''''''''''@ Google Chrome. Other '': +''@ +'''''+@ browsers (cough cough) '' ,''@. .+'''''@ might not render things : :+''@+++++'''''' correctly. .,+''''''''''''''' :,:'''''''''''''''' "But why haven't you .:.+''''@@@@@@@@@@@@ optimized the site for :,++''''@ every browser you can?" ,:,++''''@. .+++++++ .,.+'''''''++''''''+@ asks a curious netizen? :,.+'''''''''''''''@. :.'. +'''''''''''++ The answer is simple: :.' .+'''''''''+@. :' .@@@@@@ I'm lazy and I suck .:. .'. '''' Additionally: It will help if your browser has hardware-acceleration enabled, since there's a number of pages with some pretty obscenely overcomplicated styling/animations, which can be a bit much for the browser to render without outside help. 3. Minimum Resolution The site is built _____________________ on a computer at a !\__________________/!\ 1920X1080 display !! !! \ resolution. So if !! ? !! \ that's close to !! ? !! ! whatever resolution !! ? !! ! you're running, !! ? !! ! things will look !! ? ? !! ! basically the way !! ? !! ! they were intended !! !! / to look. You should !!__________________!! / be okay as long as !/__________________\!/ you aren't running __\__________/__/!_ less than 1280X1024. !________________!/ ) _________________ (__ /ooo ooo ooo ooo /! _ )_ /oooooooooooooooo/ / (_)_(_) /oooooooooooooooo/ / (o o) * mournful /C=______________/_/ ==\o/== beeping * | 4. Compatible Devices | _ \ | | As exciting as it may be to | | pull out your brilliant, | | glittering, space-age _________|_| portable computation and/or ! | communication device when | (|||) | you get a hankerin' for that | _________ | sweet, sweet emptyhalls- || || based content that you so || ;_; || intensely crave, (consoling ||_________|| yourself: "It sure is great | | living in this glorious |[1] [2] [3]| techno-utopian future! I'll | | just browse that site on the |[4] [5] [6]| computer embedded in my | | prefrontal cortex instead of |[7] [8] [9]| teleporting to my PC back on | | earth!") you're not going | [0] | to have much fun viewing this | | site unless you're on a | (|||) | regular computer. That's just `___________' the way it is. 5. JavaScript ################################################# # # # var boxes = ["╱", "╲"]; # # function writeNext() # # { # # document.getElementById('content').innerHTML # # += boxes[Math.round(Math.random())]; # # } # # function run() { # # writeNext(); # # setTimeout(run,5); # # } # # run(); # # # ################################################# The site makes use of JavaScript every once in a while, but it's not going to steal your personal information or anything, if that's something that worries you. What would I want your crummy personal information for anyway? The only thing I steal is javascript from people who actually know how to use it. The above, for instance, was stolen from the following URL: https://gist.github.com/bobend/4154712 The only way stuff will get stolen from you is if there's some kind of security thing that's wrong with the JavaScript stuff being utilized, which is of course completely possible. So, you know, keep that in mind and stuff. 6. Attribution While I'm on the !WWWWWeeu.. ..ueeWWWWW! in the subject of "$$( R$$e$$R )$$" stealing things, "$8oeeo. "*" .oeeo8$" Here's the URLS of .$$#"""*$i i$*"""#$$. the sites where I 9$" @*c $$ $$F @*c $N got all these ASCII 9$ NeP $$ $$L NeP $$ drawings: `$$uuuuo$$ $$uuuuu$$" x$P**$$P*$"$P#$$$*R$L www.retrojunkie.com x$$ #$k #$F :$P` '#$i www.asciiworld.com $$ #$ # $$ #$k www.chris.com d$" '$L x$F '$$ $$ '$E 9$> 9$> Also, the fancy $6 $F ?$> 9$> ASCII title at $$ d$ '$& 8$ the beginning was "$k x$$ !$k :$$ made here: #$b u$$L 9$b. $$" '#$od$#$$u....u$P$Nu@$" www.patorjk.com ..?$R)..?R$$$$*" #$P /software/taag/ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$@WWWW$NWWW `````""3$F""""#$F""""""" @$.... '$B 7. Navigation things d$$$$$$$$$$: ```````````` In an attempt to make the site just a little more fun to browse, I've implemented a simple method to return to the 'home' page (in quotes because it's only the home page in the sense that it acts as a sort of hub through which most other pages can be accessed. Simply type "home" and press enter on just about any page, though I've certainly left a few out. But it's there if you want it. Incidentally, press 'escape' on this page to go back from where you came. This shortcut thing requires JavaScript by the way, that's one of the things I've used the potentially unsecure JavaScript for. Also, for the most fun experience possible, press f11 and view the site full-screen, and use keyboard shortcuts for the forward / backward / switching tabs functions of your browser ( see http://dmcritchie.mvps.org/firefox/keyboard.htm ). That way my ridiculous style-over-substance CSS can REALLY hit you in the face! 8. And, finally: There are secrets. Can you find them all? # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # ################################################# # # # 8 8 ,o. ,o. 8 8 # # d8o8azzzzzzzzd# b d bzzzzzzzza8o8b # # `o' `o' # # # # 8 8 8 8 ,ooo. # # 8a8 8a8 oP ?b # # d888a888zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz8 8b # # `""^""' ?o___oP' # # ''' # # # ################################################# # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # #