acceptable cargo for the mail bird:

• nonsense
• encouragement
• suggestions
• discussion of a plot to topple the united states government film recommendations
• information requests of an impersonal nature
• giving me free stuff
• lists of things
  • ordered lists
    1. lorem
    2. ipsum
    3. dolor
  • unordered lists
    • lorem
    • ipsum
    • dolor
• photos of road signs
• noises you made
• confessions
• the password to your bank account
• desperate cries for attention
  • "please oh please pay attention to me"
  • "hey, over here!"
  • "Pursuant to 17 USC 512(c)(3)(A), this communication serves as a statement that: I am [the exclusive rights holder | the duly authorized representative of the exclusive rights holder] for [title of copyrighted material being infringed upon, and, if possible, additional identifying information such as ISBNs, publication dates, etc — or, if the material is a web page, the URL]; These exclusive rights are being violated by material available upon your site at the following URL(s): [URLs of infringing material]; I have a good faith belief that the use of this material in such a fashion is not authorized by the copyright holder, the copyright holder's agent, or the law; Under penalty of perjury in a United States court of law, I state that the information contained in this notification is accurate, and that I am authorized to act on the behalf of the exclusive rights holder for the material in question; I may be contacted by the following methods (include all): [physical address, telephone number, and email address]; I hereby request that you remove or disable access to this material as it appears on your service in as expedient a fashion as possible. Thank you. Regards, [your full legal name]"
    • if you send me this i'll ignore you
• potato soup recipe, if it's a good one
• advice
• my horoscope
• things i can steal and pass off as my own work
• knock-knock jokes
• your best christopher walken impression
• a pair of shoes
• numbers
• letters